OWOOO! Ow ow OWOOOO! Oh we got a real scary one for you today kids. Be sure to order your 3D glasses. just send $19.95 to Count Floyd, care of SCTV...

So anyway these people buy a house, and they didn't check first to see if it had a bees nest.

This is the only one of these Amityville things I've seen, as I was a bit put off by the fact that the original film is basically perpetrating a hoax. Nobody's claiming this movie is real though; we're in full deep sequel pulling shit out of the horror gag bag land here. It's even in 3-D, which seems an odd choice for a movie in which there are so few exciting objects close to the screen. They resort to throwing a frisbee at your face, and the alpha-numeric characters in the opening credits are doing a Doctor Tongue number on you.

In fact let's just watch Doctor Tongue's 3-D House of Beef instead.

There's no haunted house story here to speak of; the house is just bad and wants to kill folks. The house proper does't even play much of a role, as it seems to be able to kill people regardless of whether they're in it or not. It can malfunction the lifts in other buildings miles away, have the ocean drown you, or make a bee get in your car and literally bug you to death. Whole movie seems rather preoccupied with bees. I think I'd have gone with ghosts, but it's their film I guess so bees. There's some kind of rubber monster in the basement as well. I'm trying to pretend that wasn't "the demon", but in my heart of hearts I know it was. Finally pots and pans and other household detritus start flying around, so you'll want your glasses on for that, and at one point the house tries to kill them with a stuffed swordfish and I think everything blows up. Sure, throw in Dracula and the Wolf Man; I just want to be thrilled by more pulsating credits COMING RIGHT AT ME at this point. Got caught in a bad 'un.