It's a slick new re-imagining of Black Christmas, with double the killers, at least triple the F-words, way louder score, and bitchier girls, 'cause that's how we roll now 1970s.

Mrs Falbo nooooo! Random freak icicle accident? In a slasher movie? Gutsy screenwriting there. Love Andrea Martin though. This has nothing to do with the movie but just have to link you the greatest comedy sketch of all time. Absolute perfection. Should be taught at funny school.

{Editor's note - aww they took the video down. Maybe I'll throw it up myself when I get my complete boxed set of SCTV}

Know who else is good in stuff? Kristen Cloke. Remember that show Millennium? She was the only one who could steal the screen from Lance Henriksen. She'd come in with her "here's my thing" and man that scene was hers. One episode has this long sequence of her losing her marbles to Patti Smythe's Horses that'll trip you out. Great show. Check it out if you haven't.

Anyway yeah she's not that good in this, but still better than anyone else. I find myself not liking the girls here, and I guess that'll be the first of many unfavourable comparisons to the original. It's an interesting slasher movie history lesson though. I believe the original Black Christmas invented the slasher genre, and the remake exactly demonstrates the evolution all the cool new fads go through, which is to say increasingly crass and overblown and likely to try and kill you again at the hospital.

So all our favourite clichés are here - jackass young people, shower butt and side boob, drawn out action scene at the end with Summer blockbuster music blasting, and if you hated not knowing who the killer was in the original you'll be in heaven here 'cause we get a whole snootfull of his disfunctional cartoon childhood.

To be fair, some of it is entertaining. I'll never complain about higher body count, and at least jackassettes are more tolerable than males. I don't require or necessarily even want all slasher movies to be artful masterpieces. It's a horrible remake of Black Christmas, but just as a slasher, meh, it's okay. I'll probably drag it out every couple Christmases, being the festive sort of fellow I am. I put up a fake tree and everything.

Seriously if you've never seen Millennium at least check out the one with Charles Nelson Reilly, Jose Chung's Doomsday Defense. I'm calling it the best episode of any drama show of all time. Watch that and the Canadian Gaffes and thank me later.