A girl who is already deathly afraid of regular harmless clowns is stalked by a supernatural demon clown.

Thanks a lot It.

Wow I actually don't remember seeing this movie. I have a partly written review here of something called Clowntergeist and no idea how to finish it because all I'm getting is a hazy image of a guy in clownish makeup standing around with his mouth open. I guess I'm just going to post what I've got and trust 2018(?) me to have accurately described parts of the picture.

Basically a study in how to not be creepy. The shots of the clown look like someone auditioning to be a performer at a spookhouse attraction, as it just stands there opening its mouth and going through a series of threatening gestures. I don't know exactly how to describe done wrong in a horror clown scene but it's just awkward video of a guy in unfortunate clown makeup and at no point seems like part of a movie. Not all that violent either as it mostly just postures and grabs and pretends to kill people and {whatever I was going to type next forever lost from memory}.

Made my brain balk the whole time. I know movies are fake and all but there's a point of senselessness beyond which artistic license and the necessary expedience of film aren't enough to stop what I can only describe as a mental paper jam that makes what I'm seeing stop being a movie. This whitebread little town has a huge black British bodybuilder sheriff. A man in gun-legal 'Murca is using a crossbow for home defence. Terrorised girls obstinately refuse to ring the police, citing that the clown would only "go through" them. Town closes its roads and declares a curfew after one murder. The essential plot is that an old man is trying to help people get over their fear of clowns by having a clown demon murder them.

I could be accused of taking something describing itself as Clowntergeist too seriously and if it had been otherwise awesome such trivialities might have been lost in the entertainment, but there have to be standards even for this sort of thing or there's no point in shooting it.

I thought of something else to say. Normally I end this sort of snide rant with the caveat about how in spite of how bad this is I'm still in favour of amateurs making zero budget horror and more power to them and all that bla bla bla, and it certainly applies here, but I think it also has to be said that viewers are morally obligated to rip horrible movies regardless of how well meaning they are. Humouring this sort of thing accomplishes nothing. The only point of a movie like this is for the filmmakers to gain experience and perhaps make something merely substandard next time or become embittered and quit and let someone else up to bat. I'm saying I'm doing my bit to help and totally not just being a dick.