A nice young couple and their damn baby move into a remote home next to the dark horrible woods where man was ne'er meant to tread 'cause it belongs to something called The Hallow. The fine for trespassing: one baby.

People think I'm joking when I say I have pedophobia. Guys I really can't stand to see babies. It's like if you saw a giant wailing hairless rat or something. Hard to enjoy a movie when I have to turn away every minute to avoid another closeup of the horrid thing. Also seeing a baby in a movie tells you how the movie will end 'cause of course they're sacred cows. Not for one minute was I ever concerned for its precious safety.

But I do like the atmosphere of these new Irish horror movies. Ireland has turned out a decent few this century and they're all out in beautifully spooky places. To be perfectly honest I've only been really impressed with one of them but at least they're trying to make real horror movies out there. No found footage yet either.

For me (aside from the baby) the movie commits the sin of overexposure. The li'l pumpkinhead monsters show up pretty early and we just see too much of 'em. And like I've said before, I'm really not a "less is more" guy at heart, and I say if you can show it go ahead and show it, but I just think there's yet to be born the monster costume or cartoon that can hold up to extended well lit full body viewing.

I mean the movie is going for a something's out in the scary night vibe, but then whoa, hey, there it is, right in the shot, the whole guy in a costume moving around. After seeing enough of them like that it didn't have much more impact than if just some ugly inbreds were chasing them. And I know it's hard, really challenging to hit that sweet spot, because you do need to show something and it's a fine line. I think they kind of crossed it but so does almost every other movie these days.

Still though, monsters out in the dank dark woods. I feel like it's only a matter of time before Ireland really hits one for six. Or whatever they do in hurling.