A van full of small time convicts on their way to community service breaks down out in the sticks, and ah, the clown.

Believe it or not I actually wasn't hating this for a little while. Unlike the original it has some resemblance to a movie; like the acting was merely substandard and the screenplay just kind of stupid. It even had a tiny bit of vibe out there in the dark spooky woods.

But then all of a sudden this thing shows up, dressed like a clown, instantly shattering the movie into oblivion with its unutterable horribleness. I don't mean good horror movie horrible, or even funny campy horrible; I mean it's the poorest thing since T-Rex arms and it actually hurt me every second it was on the screen. Clown hell, this may be the worst horror movie villain of all time.

And all the more because Angel Vargas as the clown was virtually the only entertaining aspect of the original movie. And for it to be turned into this? I'm trying to grasp some way to describe specifically why it's so godawful but I really hate thinking about it. Just...a great honking incongruous confluence of sucking in every way a thing can suck. Its every appearance and gesture is like some jackass jumped into the shot deliberately trying to wreck it as a prank. Then it utters a line, and you realise you never even knew what sucking was before.

It puts me in mind of a massive brilliant fireworks show, if fireworks were bad and every explosion made me cringe with pain and shame.

Luckily they throw liquid on it which I guess is fatal to clown demons and it melts, but not before you've witnessed it. God. God. Don't watch this.