Robert Englund plays a mean 'ol cripple who runs a sweat shop laundry facility where he spends his days growling and rattling his cane at the workers. On the floor there's this massive sheet folding machine that must have been designed by Willy Wonka and Dr Seuss, and it causes a number of injuries. A bitter detective and his...who was that Doug Henning looking guy who kept following him around? Anyway they investigate.
QUIT STICKING YOUR HANDS IN THERE. God. Let me reiterate,
it's a laundry machine. Non-ambulatory. It's only dangerous
if you insert yourself into it or sit on it wearing an
unbuttoned trench coat, although at the end Mr Hooper
gets tired of the movie not being
silly enough and does
in fact have the machine take to the hoof.
I liked the cop in the movie. If there has to be a cop I prefer mine sad and drunk and popping pills. The whole movie is like that guy - just kind of miserable and unable to leave.
This is a dreary, monotonous movie, and yet at times oddly entertaining for that very aspect. I'm having a hard time finding words to describe it. Nothing much happens, but it's got this strange, trapped vibe. The movie's so slow and repetitive that it made me feel kind of drunk, or tripping, like I was having one of those dreams that play in a loop while I'm running in sand. I'm saying it's the right kind of movie to drift in and out of a nap in front of, catch a scene every so often and hazily wonder "what...are they having a barbecue out in the snow in the middle of the night?", or "did that guy just shoot off his coat?", then doze off again until someone gets attacked by a refrigerator or something.
But yeah it's not good. The big noisy ending when the sheet folder comes to life and starts charging around is exactly like what you're picturing, and most of the movie is just a loop of the cop and that...who the HELL WAS that guy? Professor Longhair, master wizard? Who lives across the magic bridge in the land of faerie lights and wind chimes? Whoever he was he got on my nerves immediately and stayed on 'em for the whole movie. Apparently he's the creation of Tobe Hooper or Stephen King, which brings to mind a number of sarcastic thoughts along the lines of "masters of horror my ass".
Line: "It folded her up like a sheet!"
