'Amember Jurassic Park? Ever wonder what an ultra chintzy Euro version with mummies instead of dinosaurs would be like?

hey cool
Seriously it's about a mummy theme park
but YUCK
I can't even

Oh my goodness where to begin.

So this sheik in a sheik costume they uhhh...must have found leftover in the back room of a party shop and his army of mmm... guys with crooked taped-on fake moustaches and plastic gold helmets break the... yellow play-doh seal on an ancient Pharoah's...chick psyches out the mummy with her boobs...mummy love theme by ABBA...fake...moustaches...

Guys I can't do this. Too hard. Some things are so poor they defy satire. This is like a Saturday morning kiddie show from the 70s, 'cept with naked chicks and swearing. Making fun of it would be like making fun of Captain Kangaroo for not being a real captain.

Know what watching this is like? It's like taking a big fat bite of a habanero chile, and you're kinda tripping and barely hanging in there and keep sucking in air and going "whooooo, hahhhhhhhhh, hohohohoho".

Line: "It's like there never was a mummy theme park".