Every night at the Rue Morgue theatre a play is performed in which a woman is threatened with torture until an ape named Eric busts out of his cage and wrecks everything and gets killed. Soon actors are found dead - for real though, not pretending. What fiend is responsible? Herbert Lom is in the movie. I'm lookin' at him.

HERBERT LOM in a black hat and cape. HERBERT LOM horribly disfigured by vitriol and must wear a mask. HERBERT LOM scaling facades and watching from balconies before escaping into the night. HERBERT LOM hovering over beautiful women as they sleep. Could it be any more phantomy of the opera?

And could that play go off without a murder one time? You'd think they'd eventually start checking the gorilla suit to make sure you-know-who isn't in there, having once again slain the real actor and commandeered the costume. The film is fond of its themes and uses them as many times as it damn well pleases. If it was good twenty minutes ago it's still good now. Movie could theoretically go on forever in a loop. As it is I thought it was over at least three times.

I don't mind. It's an enjoyable old AI horror movie with a macabre play, carnival right next door, a skeleton, lots of nightmare sequences, and Herbert Lom creeping about. He could have taken lessons in murder from Doctor Phibes though. Mostly people die from skin rashes after being spattered with a bit of acid. There is however a nice sudden beheading at the end.

Upps not quite over yet sorry. The horror just won't end. Whooo is slooowly coming up the steps? It's Doctor Loveless! We love him! No he wasn't killed earlier in the movie. I don't think it's possible to be killed earlier in this movie. Lom is almost certainly faking it again too. He learned that holding his breath trick, remember? Anyway, our heroine thus left shrieking at the sight of a dwarf, the movie finally rolls credit.

By the way don't believe the Poe business in the credits, or hell I guess the whole title. I've read Murders In The Rue Morgue and don't recall anything about a guy in a monkey suit throwing acid. Edgar Allen employed the much more brutal real ape and the much more cringe inducing straight razor. God it just destroyed those women. All this movie has in common with the story is that it takes place in Paris, which is REALLY LOUD. HOPE YOU LIKE gaaah. HOPE YOU LIKE HORRIBLE CAN-CAN MUSIC.