Well I reckon I always knew at some point I'd be forced to type "bigfoot's love child" in one of these things. Did I ever tell you I wanted to be a musician? So yeah the hairy guy's out there killing a raping in the woods so some unqualified college kids head out to traumatise a backwoods hermit girl and dig up her dead deformed baby to see what it looks like. It ends like I so desperately wanted every episode of Scooy Doo to end, but not before dumping out a whole messy sack of awkward, gory, fucked-up horrible
movie gold.

hey cool
Violentest bigfoot ever
but YUCK
Like if Herschel Gordon Lewis had a retarded brother who also made movies

The difference between you and I, gentle reader, is that I have a ready answer to the question "what was the name of that weird ass movie where bigfoot sneaks up and just pinches the tip off a guy's weiner while he's taking a pee". Yes it's Night of the Demon, but not the real one, not the 1957 horror classic based on the story Casting the Runes by M.R, James. No this is some kind of amateur monkeyfuck bigfoot movie from 1980, and man you're gonna blow your coke.

If you're the sort of person who gets a sick brain woody from stuff like I Drink Your Blood or "Criminally Insane" then where has this movie been all your life? It's got all the horrible things you love, like ultra non-acting (let's just call it pretending), amateur porno picture quality, banned in Europe gore, musical score by howler monkeys with car horns, and you know what's the exact opposite of sexy? Anything the people of the 1970s thought was sexy. Oh my unholy mother of stillborn jebus the love scenes make me wish I were a celibate monk.

So turns out bigfoot is not a shy, gentle, misunderstood forest ape at all. More of a sadistic mass murdering serial sex offender. And don't worry about 'em jump cutting away from the good stuff. Oh how the camera lingers and savours it all. The gestation and bloody screeching birth of bigfoot's love child pretty much happens in real time.

Yeah sure godawful movie and you have to sit through ages of 70s people standing around in their horrible clothes and haircuts trying to make it through their lines, but guys bigfoot just goes apeshit on everybody. Like he catches these Girl Scouts and instead of just mauling them like a normal sane bigfoot he actually grabs their hands and makes them stab each other to death with their standard issue Girl Scout knives. It's like a hard NC-17 version of those "messin' with sasquatch" jerky ads.