Troubled teen who likes to carve pumpkins? Halloween prank goes horribly wrong? Jackass costume party at an isolated farm? Carver spelled with a K? Setting the bar pretty high for yourself there movie.

A young male practitioner of cartoon assholery gets eye stabbed to death in the first ten minutes. Does this thing actually want to be my friend? Sadly replacement assholes are rushed to the scene and sworn in immediately to barf and urinate all over the remainder of the picture, so basically this is an hour and a half of drunken teenage Halloween party so cringingly juvenile that even a telemarketer would find it below his dignity. When I want to kill the characters more than the movie killer does I'm operating at an entertainment deficit.

So he likes to cut people's faces up like Jack O' Lanterns ey? Well once. Sort of. After that the movie forgets its premise. Where the hell was the scene of his pumpkin shrine with all the victims' artfully disfigured heads lined up and lit with candles? The pumpkin thing could have been a franchise worthy gimmick if they'd made it with different actors, producers, screenwriters, directors, and probably even key grips and best boys. Sad to think of all the face carving gags we'll never see in Pumpkin Karver VII: The Final Kut.

And where have all the mighty franchises gone? Freddy joined Michael and Jason in remake Hell, the Chucky doll became a football commentator for ESPN, The Puppet Master technically died in the first scene of the first movie, and even the irrepressible Leprechaun finally accepted the loss of he gold. You mocked them in their time, but is the world really better now?

Anyway the only reason to watch this movie is to hear the crazy old pumpkin carving geezer who acts like being a pumpkin carver is an actual thing you can do with your life. Between all the jackass vomiting there's an occasional scene of him goading the kid about his special carvin' knife and bein' born to the carver's way and evil's like black tar in the blood and have you ever killed anything boy? Stick me!