No not lesbian porn for men, it's Rise of the Reeker, a prequel to some other movie about a reeker. According to the laws of the universe, when dead people don't want to stay dead (which happens all the time) a guy in a gas mask who smells really bad is sent forth from grim reaper headquarters to kill them again in a way that's ironically similar to their original cause of death.

So in the middle of the movie a drunk injun bursts in, explains exactly what the reeker is, then immediately runs back out again to die horribly. How Indians always know?

Movie liked to jerk me around. Pretty nice unexpected kill there in the opening minutes had me perking up my ears like a dog that hears its name, and I'm all in "hey could this be a movie?" mode. But then things settle right down and we get a long heavy dose of cops and robbers, and a guy fighting with his ex, and the sheriff and his son the deputy are having personal issues, and attempted comedy rears its ugly head. Pretty soon the movie's just doubled over sucking for air.

But if you're too stubborn to turn bad movies off it finally starts to get weird and the reeker acts like he might show up and do something. Nighttime falls and I'm crazy about that dark desert vibe; startin' to trip on the movie and think about how nice being dead and trapped in limbo out there at night might be.

Now back to the other hand, then they drag out that thing I dread like a big fat snake in every movie like this: the bit where they figure out the grim reaper is a corporeal entity they can just blow up, and hatch a cockamamie plan to get him to stand next to a leaky propane tank while they shoot it with a flaming Nerf dart or something. That sequence always signals the end of the horror portion of the entertainment and the beginning of the miniature lame action movie they stick on the end of everything.

I don't know what to think of a movie like this. Did I like it? A more clever person than myself would have a joke here for something that's only good for about a half hour right in the middle. Only thing I can think of is unprintably filthy.

And the reeker himself? Hey I dig the gas mask, and they shoot him in some kind of stutter-motion for extra scaryfication. Movie says in order to become a reeker you must first spend a lifetime as a serial killer practising weird ways to kill folks. This begs the question, if a reeker trainee butchers someone and they opt to not stay dead, does a qualified reeker then have to kill them again in an even more bizarre fashion? How do you ironically kill someone who's already had his tongue cut out with tin snips while a car is parked in his chest cavity?