Turns out Santa was only being nice and handing out toys because he lost a curling bet. Yeah curling. It's an Olympic sport. Anyhow the bet has worn off, so he can go back to killing folks with his wrestling moves.

At this point I think there are more movies about evil Santas than nice ones, so I'm hoping Christmas will eventually degenerate into a completely horror themed holiday called Halloween II. Most killer Santas are just psychos in fake beards and costumes however. To the best of my knowledge this is the only movie in which the actual Santa Claus does the murdering, unless you count those skinny old Euro Saint Nikolases in movies like Saint and Rare Exports. Today he's played by pro wrestler Bill Goldberg, so expect a lot of roughhousing.

{Bonus mini review - tried to watch Rare Exports and had to shut damn thing off due to offensive stomach-turning superbrat. Pity too because the old man Santa/elf things were really nasty. I expected something darker from you Finland.}

I've said it before, I'll say it again, despite my constant grousing I really don't think I ask so much of horror films. Yes I'm a snooty connoisseur of the finely crafted horror masterpieces, but I'm also just fine spending ninety minutes watching a fake wrestler in a Santa suit beat people to death. And yet, even in a movie called Santa's Slay I guess that's too much to expect. The movie starts out well enough with a room full of big name (for this production anyway) actors getting massacred in a variety of entertaining ways, but as is so often the case in these matters we get progressively less of what we came for as the plot drags on.

After the last kill piece, which happens early on, it just devolves into a morass of noisy chasing and action scenes. Robert Culp turns into some kind of angel, teenage romance rears its ugly head, and pretty soon you realise you stopped having fun about 40 minutes ago. So, although it's a slay ride for a little while, ultimately the only movie in the world to feature a wrestler Santa ends up not having quite enough wrestler Santa.