A meteor absolutely packed with malevolent space monsters lands in the former Soviet Union and these Russian kids Tony, Dallas and Vicki run afoul of them inside an abandoned factory.

I don't remember when I saw this and it's actually hard to even find mention of its existence on the internet but after typing "spores russian horror movie" into google and scrolling for a while I found out some Russian guy with a camera did this entirely on his own with no funding. Before I totally rip the movie I just want to say how much I love that. More power to you Mr Dyachuk.

So I sit down to see what Mother Russia can offer me in a horror movie and the first sound out of anyone's mouth might as well be one of those old owOOOOga car horns 'cause this is euro dubbed. By that I mean it's bad but not funny-bad like a King Fu movie. It's just these bored sounding American voices mouthing bland lines like "I knew we shouldn't have come here. Let's get out of here".

I think I saw a badly Amerikanised version on the Chiller channel that seems to be pretending it's taking place in the USA and nevermind the cyrillic on the cop cars and the Makarov pistols. If you can find an actual Russian version maybe it's super good.

Ah the Chiller channel...I actually paid extra to get it on my satellite 'cause surely my life before an all horror TV channel had been a hollow sham. Yyyeah an edited for television advertisement-packed dubbed version of an amateur film project from Russia is pretty much how Chiller rolled. RIP. We need a real 24 hour horror channel. Like with horror hosts and marathons and a big giveaway at nine. I know there's Shudder and I love it but video on demand isn't quite the same communal event as watching something with a bunch of other anonymous weirdos at the same time.

Anyway movie's definitely going for a Chernobyl vibe with the empty factory and such. It's really a fascinating area, a real world ghost city. Wish they'd make a great horror movie about it. This movie is people running from animated space monsters.

{Editor's postscript - I didn't know Chernobyl Diaries existed yet but it's not that great. Also you actually can see the Russian version of this here. I just watched it is how hard I'm living my dreams. It is actually rather better when you don't know what they're saying}.