Some sicko puts a videotape in kids' trick or treat bag and their babysitter inexplicably lets them watch it. The tape contains a Halloween anthology full of hard R rated gore and a killer harlequin who has acquired the Can Come Through The TV ability.

hey cool
Enter: Art the Clown
but YUCK

To the best of my knowledge there's no such thing as an anthology without at least one story that sucks. The first story mildly sucks, and with that I'm out of bad things to say about this wonderful new Halloween classic.

Of course I hear a chorus of "no it's the second story that sucks, with the hokey alien". But wrong again other reviewers and the general viewing public. True there are a couple unfortunate full body shots but for the most part I'm saying the alien sequence is a triumph of low budget practical monster building. I think everyone's just seen it too many times. The first time you see it when you don't know what's coming and the face pops out of the darkness it totally kind of works. The mask, the way it seems to move in stop motion, the sense of both menace and curiosity, and the old school Twilight Zone/Outer Limits look - not only does it not suck, I'm saying it's the best home invasion alien since those little guys that got in Agnes Moorhead's house.

Even liked the babysitter wraparound. For the first time since 1978 the babysitter isn't some skank who brings her dick boyfriend over, and the kids are kind of...not detestable. And of course Night of the Living Dead should be on TV in every Halloween horror movie for that perfect vibe.

But enough about the non-clown bits; we're here to talk about the new greatest killer clown of all time. Pennywise can sit the fuck down, and so can S.I.C.K and Stitches and Twisty and the clown from this movie. Art the Clown is a perfect confluence of character concept, makeup effect and performance. The shape is instantly shocking, but then he moves or emotes or does anything and it's circus level clown evil.

What's most delightful about Art the Clown is just how much fun he's having. Being a killer clown should be the most fun imaginable, but most of the time it's just a guy in a clown suit murdering people the same way any conventional insane masked slasher might. Being a clown is a special calling to entertain and bring joy, and the way Art capers and jests and revels in murderous clownery reminds us why we fell in love with those noble comic fools to begin with. Also he'll shoot your ass. "Yeah he's got a piece" quoth Damien Leone in the commentary.

Controversy level violence is another Art the Clown trademark. Two decapitated children and...that other thing we probably shouldn't describe. Compare this to the zero kids killed by big studio Pennywise.

Dig the harsh, blown out lighting. Feels like the movie was lit with car headlights or a torch in your face. Add an 80s style synth score and this movie is the heart of Halloween night.